like when i first smelled you...

Like when I first smelled you.
It was spring,
Late,
I was brown.

I wonder, my love,
When time stopped.
When I became too unlike myself
To breathe.
I wonder, sometimes,
When I slipped,
When I fell sideways into glass
Into trees stripped of glory
And littered sand.
When I danced clumsily
Around my me and your you
Not looking, not seeing the place
I began.
I can’t say, this place is to constricting,
This sound is too unnerving.
I have told myself too often
I have nothing to say.

Me, still, boy, tired, alive,
Waiting.


I wonder in this grain induced stillness
This distilled lively timeless
This sloppy loveless endless
This dreamy punchy endness.

I’ve got words, you see, plenty of them,
Words for Tuesday,
Words for you to say,
So opaque I feel like scratching.

Like a hen,
Maybe,
Like a scab,
Yeah,
Like now,
Turning it out.
This is too abstract to come to anything,
Description losing itself
In the light of morning.
I’m going to continue.
Like a quilt, like this and that rolled into one.

When will I learn something new?
Why do I still sing into emptiness?
Why do I bother with questions
I’ve been asking since before you remember?

It’s the same story, inside,
Dance, sing,
Outside, laugh, drink.
Ahh the time, the basic mess of it all.
The now in my me.

And there’s always more.